This what I don't understand about Jon: he constantly complains about not having a girlfriend but is always juggling a bunch. He comes almost home every day with some girl he "fell in love with" and then goes on about which girl he should go for. Every time he talks about this shit I straight up call him out. I'll be like Jon, " I get why you think its hard to pick one. Really I do. All you do is find excuses of why you shouldn't date. Theres always gonna be reasons why you shouldn't date some one. But you do it anyway. Stop fucking around with 30 girls and just pick the one that legitimately makes you not just smile but brings you real happiness. Stop being so afraid of commitment and do it. You're not gonna regret it. And honestly, stop fucking searching for some one. Some one will find you."
He'll shrug it off.
Make an excuse.
I'll say, "okay".
We talk about something else.
Carter has been in town for the past 2 days. Its strange how well we've been getting along. We used to fight about everything all the time. Maybe he and I have both grown up to tolerate each other. I noticed how much trust he puts into me. How much he really looks up to me. Its crazy. I don't wanna let him down at any moment. Or put him in any kind of harms way. When we were drinking last night I kept on asking him how he was to make sure he didn't get sick or something. He didn't really drink all that much but I could tell he was tipsy. He's a hilarious drunk person however. Normally he's a sarcastic asshole. But when he drinks he becomes this big fucking teddy bear that can't say whats up to you with putting his hand on your shoulder. Alcohol always brings out the real deep emotions in people I swear. Which is good and bad I guess. Its just nice to have this new relationship with my brother. He really is a funny ass kid. Like its ridiculous. We've never bonded before and I hope I can get to him better like I should have been doing the whole time he was brother. I'm not gonna fuck that up again.
I miss having some one to talk to. Some one to lay with. Some one thats gonna play with my hair. Some one that'll sleep next to me. Some one that will let take them out on dates. Some one that will watch weird indie movies with me. Some one that loves music like me. Some one who will laugh with me. Some one who you look at me and tell me that what I just said was retarded. Some one who will call me out. Some one who makes me wanna be better. Some one who will let me stare into their eyes. Some one that will let me see them without make up. Some one who will want me to kick it with them an their friends. Some one who will want to wrestle me. Some one to hold hands with. Some one to kiss.
I can't wait to have that again.
No comments:
Post a Comment