Katie texts me today. She informs me she's coming to Vegas next Thursday and Friday. My stomach turns. We haven't talked for over a month. We probably won't again till she's here. I tell her we should get coffee or lunch. She likes that. Nothing freaks me out more than this idea. For one I'm not over it. Second I'm trying to figure how much I've really changed. The main difference I really notice is that I'm drunk more. Always at partying. But thats college right? How pathetic is it that I've gotten so used to going to bed drunk that I never sleep well when I fall asleep sober. Yeah its sad or whatever but I mean I am having fun. Thats something I plan on leaving out whenever we do end up meeting up. I don't even know its gonna go. I mean is it gonna help me get over it. I just feel like...nothing really closed with the way I left. I mean I just moved. That was all. We knew it was gonna be over but I don't know. I mean I think I've been dealing with it. How the fuck do you even deal with it? Is it time? Is time really gonna make it fade? Who knows. Hopefully it does.
I'm pretty ready to meet some one new either way. I keep searching which is way I'm failing. I always tell people to let them come to you. Hypocrites give the best advice anyway.
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