Out with the old, in with the new

Today I arrived home from our annual 5 day vacation to Sunriver with my family and 2 other families from Washington. My mom told me it was our 12th time going. We've been doing this trip for 12 years. Its so hard to believe. I mean two of the kids have graduated college, have real jobs and still make an effort to come on this trip. Its amazing that we all still look forward to it every year. Its been an incredible experience watching these kids grow up. Seeing their changes and how we've all influenced each other. The best part of it is that we are so comfortable with one another. Its like one big dis-functional family in a house for 5 days. And all we do is laugh the whole time. Its the best trip of the year hands down. I love them all very much and wouldn't miss it for the world.

Today was also the first time I've started to get organized for Vegas. I leave in 5 days. 5 fucking days. Where the hell did the time go? I'm excited, nervous, scared, sad, anxious, happy and about every other emotion possible . I'm gonna be sad to leave my friends here...most of them. I think. See, I don't know how I feel about it. Since I went and visited Paige in like November I felt like maybe Vegas is where I need to be. Since then I've been slowly disconnecting myself from every one here. I'm not sure why. Maybe its because I hate good byes. Or maybe its because I'm tired of going through the same day every day. It all tends to blur together here. Josh calling me to hang out then never seeing him. Me working. Going to Jared's to chain smoke, drink and watch them all get high. I mean I love all these kids but don't they see what they're doing? Nothing. They're doing fucking nothing here. Its like, their all scared to grow up and move on. Start new things. Yeah its some times sad to say good bye and let go of each other but when you aren't being productive anymore...its time to wake the fuck up.

Its gonna be hard to leave. I know it will. For fucks sake I grew up here. Its just time for new things. To leave my comfort zone. Most importantly, its time for me to become the DJ and Producer I've been dreaming about. Its time to make that dream a reality.