Okay,
I know this is all going to sound crazy but drunk me likes to talk myself. These we're things I said out loud to myself before I was going to go to bed:
Do you think you deserve it?
Yeah I mean sure. I'm just killing myself softly through this shit. I don't do drugs very often but when I do now I'm like fuck it who's gonna stop me hahahaha?
Look, I know there is a big difference between sober me and drunk me...but drunk me always gets all my true feelings out. Honsetly that conversation with myself sounds way more dramatic than it actually is. I've just drank a handful times and do blow and just get upset with myself in the morning but no one really cares. I smoke cigarettes but not one cares. These are my self destructive materials rather than a razor. I don't like myself when I'm drunk. Like right now.
I just want some to help remind me again that I'm okay. That's all. I need help learning to love myself again. I know you're supposed to do that shit on your own but I can't anymore. I can't. I don't know. For fucks sake some one give me some kind of advice. Or a sign whatever. I hate being this alone.
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